without it i don't think i'd be much of a person.
i know i wouldn't be myself. it's probably the one good thing i have going in my life.
most importantly, to me anyway i have so much faith in jesus christ.
i am a christian, i know im not a good one though. and im ashamed of that.
i don't pray nearly as much as i should,
i have far to much pride which can be dangerous.
i don't follow the ten commandments.
i wish i did, but wishings not enough, and again im ashamed of this.
i believe in god, not just because i have to but because i want to. i want to believe that there is more. i want to believe that everyday i have someone walking beside me guiding me down my path, weather it be the right one or not. i want to believe that i am not alone. i don't want to go through life thinking that this is it, and there is nothing waiting for me when i die. because thats simply not enough. i want to believe that when my loved ones pass that they are safe and happy, and so i do. at this very minute i know god is with me. i dont think, i know. and im proud of that.
im a bad peron and i accept that. but i know i can do better, i try to repent and ill try harder,
because thats what i want. believing in god makes helps me so much, it makes me a better person. and im truly thankful for my faith, im proud of my faith infact.
although i accept and respect why other people don't believe. i honestly do. i would never try and shove my beliefs down another persons throat, heck im probably the most christian person i know and being as im a bad one says alot i guess. all i want in return is respect for my beliefs, its not too much to ask, but i guess to some people it is, which sucks. people ask me why i believe all the time and think im stupid and make jokes. it does upset me but i'd never let it show, it would probably only make things worse. and i can handle it.
sometimes i find it hard to love god, though i never stop believing. i mean, you see and hear about all these terrible things happening weather they be happening far, far away to people you don't know, or closer to home and to people you know, love and respest.. and even to yourself. but then i remind myself that everything happens for a reason, its gods plan. and as hard ad that may be, i respect that. i guess if lovin wern't easy, it wouldn't be love.
thats basically it i guess, i just wanted to vent.
